His eyes

As he held my hand, i felt Him.
As he looked into my eyes, i felt Him.
As he spoke, i felt Him.

confession. i killed somebody few days ago Everytime whevener i stepped into the confessional room or even just sitting outside waiting for my turn, the feeling of ,'urgh... so embarassingla wanna tell all my sins.I'm a bad girl! >.< ' is always there. But just now, I was so calm... no nervous-ness or whatsoever. =D One thing that i've ,in a way, learnt today while going for confession is that there is no need to fear or be embarass about, although we may be confessing to a priest but truth behind it is that we're actually facing Him in the confessional room. Just like the story of the Prodigal Son. His father accepted him back although he rebelled against him before. [ okay, now i sound as if i'm preaching. teehee...] Well, I'm just glad and relieved that I skipped my tuition tonight and went for it. OH OH! after exams, i've decided that I'll......................... love addmaths love chemistry love english love bahasa malaysia love physics love maths love moral and most of all, LOVE sejarah. ♥ Let the world be filled with love. ♥ ~To do something or to succeed at something, you have to love doing it~ [not sure how true is this but i'm gonna do an experiment on this.] ~Changing your face isn't gonna make any difference but Facing the change is gonna make so much difference~ -unknown.

ttfn~

Bad day go away, come again ...eh no,if can, never come again.

I have no idea why but today seems like a bad day i've ever had in a long time. Some may call it ..hmm... 'ahh,its normal' . But for others, who knows me, bad days are like once in a blue moon. For goodness sakes, i don't even feel like smiling right now. gahhh..
This morning when I reached school, everything was still okay. Then, going through the day, so many stuffs has been bothering my head. [to Jocelyn and Joan, i'm sorry you both had to see me being so the EMO today. gosh]
I'll name a few that happen. It all started when a teacher came into my class and called me out. Then, she told me the funds money were all gone. ALL 1K plus gone except rm61 ringgit. [YES, that time my heart crushed and my head started to hurt a lot. And and, i just felt so hopeless.] Before that, which was last saturday, I had already passed the money to the teacher who was suppose to be in-charge of the club. I HAD witness. And so, everyone told me it wasn't my fault. But how can i not help to feel that it was all my fault that it's gone. TOTALLY GONE. I felt so depressed that I could'nt concentrate much today especially with so much mixture of feelings. Guilt, Sad, Angry, Depress and all negative energy filling inside me. BUT, i stayed back today to go see the teachers and they told me, they found where the money is already. I felt soo RELIEVED. GOSH! what a day right?
Even while receiving Sejarah paper today, I was soo soo [no need to mention la.heh.inside story.]
To make things worse, these pair of guys behind me was getting on to my nerves. They talk and talk and talk non-stop. [probably because I was so disturbed that I realize that they're really irritating in some ways.] However, thank God I was still in my cool mode. OH OH, and just now, during tuition, I just keep looking at the time, hoping to get home as soon as possible cause I just totally can't concentrate. See how little stuff can affect my mind. sheessshh, i hate it when that happens. 2 hours of tuition wasted....but i did do my work though. (=

I guess, bad days come and go and same goes with happy days. Gah, i just wish all these hadn't happen at once in a day. IT's KILLING ME to handle it all at a time. Then again, people say things don't just happen because it happen, it happen cause there is a reason behind it. =/
Well then, I guess I really need strength from above to keep strong.
It's kinda late now to actually blog but I'm still not feeling better. So, I thought i'd pour out everything in here. Not everything la but most of it.
One thing that I love bout blogs, papers, journal, diary[not that i keep one] or whatever, is that I can write whatever, whenever,whoever I want in there and just throw all my crappyness in it. AND NOBODY willl say a thing back. Maybe there is but who cares. Its my page, and it's all mine. And you know, it actually works to make myself feel lighter and smilier again.
Just a little story to share with my dear blog here,
when I was still a kid, i STILL am now
I used to write all my problems or my day in school or even at home.
For example, I got scolded by my parents. And so, I'd write it on a piece of paper all that i want to say or wish to say it out loud but i can't. After that, I'd re-read what I wrote and tear it all into small pieces. Mind you, IT FELT REALLY GOOD! and I wasn't angry that much anymore. As I grew, I started keeping a journal [NOT a diary] and I'd write down about friends or complain about loads of stuff in it.

Whoa, I did not even realized that i've typed so much in here... hehe

:)
Whatever happens, I'll stay strong. Whatever happens, I'll just close my eyes and tell myself, *starts singing Bob Marley's song* 'Don't worry about a thing, cos' every little thing is gonna be alright...'

Goodnight bloggy~
til then.

Like I am...

Cousins, uncles, aunties have all gone back kl yesterday. Its always like this. sigh.. once they leave or anyone leave for that matter, there's always this empty feeling. gahh! [it's not like they're not coming back.] Anyway, we gambled yesterday and it was soo FUN!! My lil cousin won the most and he was soo excited that he want to play it over and over again. xD

~~~~~~~~~~

i.seriously.wish.i.could.make.time.slow.down.
A song dedicated to everyone whom I love so much! and those who love me like I am: love it. love all whom i love. (: this song pretty much reflects on daddy God who just loves me unconditionally. He shows it all the time...through others...others like you all.

Lying here with you
I watch you while you sleep
The dawn is closing in
With every breath you breathe

I can feel the change
The change you've made in me
But will I ever see
All the things you see in me

Chorus
When you say that I'm one of a kind
Baby, I don't see it but you believe
That I'm so strong and true, I promise you
I'll try to be that kind of man human =D
Because you love me like I am

When it comes to love
I may not know the rules
But there's one thing I know
My heart belongs to you, just you

(Repeat Chorus)

You show me you love me
With a fire that burns deep inside

(Repeat Chorus Twice)

- I am
I'll never understand
I don't think I'll ever understand
Why you love me
Why you love me just like I am

~♥~end~♥~

cny

Done with Chinese New Year.... what's next? Chap Goh meh? Anyhow, I guess festive season is nearly the ONLY time we get to be together with our family and relatives. I just wish I could keep EVERYONE with me ALL THE TIME.. Then, I wouldn't have to miss them so much. [i know that's impossible laa] Oh oh, probably, that's why
This year, for mine, it feels different without grandpa around. more quiet, I must say. gosh. I MISS HIM so much! And if I miss him this much, my grandma must miss him so much more. =/

Pictures speaks more than words right? [more on FB] (: Here's some captured memories that I shall forever keep.. I think,someday, I'll print out what I write in here and re-read it when i'm much older. It'll be something that may bring smiles later on...

Pre-CNY + Valentine's Day eve + Uncle's birthday eve + Verne's Birthday = whoaaa!

before......

after.....

2nd Day

OH ya! we gambled too....with muffins or cupcakes,i think... cos' we were too kiasu to use real money. (:

3rd day

When I saw this, i was like 'Oo...are they serving salty eggs??' Then i found out it was jellys. x)

My uncle said that the screen and projector is to save space and money, so he do not need to buy a TV to put in that living room. O.o

I must say my CNY was great. Not to mention increasing of $$$ and also increasing of weight! oh goshh!

I guess probably while looking through those pictures, some may think 'whoaa..these people do takes loads of photos.. >.<'

Vain? yesss! we ALL are.heee

*the connection nowadays so BAD! gahh!* Time is so limited as well. As much as i want to continue blogging, there is always something coming up.
til then~ tata!

c-n-y

CNY is almost here! =D not to mention Valentine's day! spread the love,people... heeeee
It's been few days now that my family and I had gone shopping and well, preparing for the coming occasion. And gosh, my mum has been busy ordering food and drinks here and there. I think it's a bit too much just for one occasion,no? Anyway,here is my dad, pretending to play starwars with that vegee. =.=
Oh oh! and while we were shopping, there's this lil kid, who looked so tired but so cute! xD I can't help but to take a photo of him. [See, i bet he got VERY tired following his parents shopping]

I.feel.as.if.everybody's.leaving.
=(
okay...i know it's a phase where most people is leaving to further studies and all BUT it's happening so fast! i'm not ready for all that for goodness sakes!!! TIME, please please slow down. For,soon, it'll be my turn.
gosh,i just realised exam is like so soon as well. I have to get my brain, armour, sword and my machine gun ready for it.
Brain = to think. [duh]
Armour = Just to keep it safe.
Sword = To cut-cut and go through shortcuts
Machine Gun = To shoot questions

lame? i know.bear with me, if you readers wanna continue on reading.
p/s: it makes blogging more meaningful that people actually reads what others writes in their blogs.

send it on.

=)

It's 1 a.m plus!

Late.

I'm not sure what exactly does it resembles anymore. When I was a kid, late for me was 10 but as I grow older, 10 is wayy too early. I think that probably my latest now is about 2?3? Okay, maybe it's not that bad la. It's not like i'm staying up late for wrong reasons. heck,no! i'm blogging. teehee. Does that count as a bad thing??

It's nearly 1.30 now.

I was actually doing chemistry report just now. And finally, now i'm done with it except for results and all laa. such chemistry freak =D OH ya!! I studied Sejarah today!! As much as i find it pointless, I did it! YES!! It all makes sense now bout why those Barat people wanna conquer Asia Tenggara and why most Phillipinos' have kinda cool names. For example: Imelda Marcos, Juan Luna and etc. Anyway, I do wanna go sleep but everytime i put my head down (for tonight only though) , i feel like i have so much to do or i am forgetting something or i'm just missing something or someone. haiya! Let's see:

• checked my bag? DONE
• pack clothes to go grandma's house? *oh wait* ..DONE
• Homeworks? except for maths, though.(oh well, tomorrow no maths) DONE
• Say night prayers? SOON.hopefully.
• What am I still doing here??? all mostly done already leh.

I'm not sleepy.

Or I think i'm just worried bout my aunt. She's all the way in Tasmania and i'm not exactly sure how she's doing and all. My mom, grandma, uncle,another aunt and all of us here are SO worried. She's all alone there and living in a stranger's house and only heard from her bout once or twice since she left last month. Been missing having her visiting marverne,nana and I during weekends especially. Only coming back end of next month. Gah..why must international calls or text be super expensive. Anyway, I won't wanna say so much la. Later, i'll turn emo instead. I'll save my emo-ness for some other time. xD (not anytime soon,that is)
*I ask of you,daddyGod that you'll guide her through journey there and bring her safe back home. I, We may not be there with her but You are. Amen. OH YEAH. And bless that somebody now that he may resist the temptation of really GOOD food there,so that his 'mission' will not fail. AMEN.*

Come on, Go sleep, Cella!

I guess, i'd probably go sleep now before i turn into a panda tomorrow which reminds me, i'm gonna have to run tomorrow for this 'segak' test thing. >.< I'll stop here for now.

TaTa.